August 2011
30 posts
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Southern Challenge
Courtesy of Drawl Magazine:
1. How do you like your grits? With cheese, grillades, or shrimp.
2. Biscuits or cornbread? Tough call - biscuits are good all the time, but cornbread is AMAZING if it’s prepared properly (and, really, nothing beats some good ole Jiffy cornbread).
3. Where’s the strangest place you’ve seen bait for sale? Where haven’t I seen bait for sale…
4....
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"I Think We Have Too Many Street Fairs"
Thank you Mayor Bloomberg for continuing to say exactly what you think about anything and everything (especially because your opinions often align with mine). Street fairs are the most terrible, awful fucking things ever. Brooklyn Flea, Hester Street Fair - you guys are great. A) You don’t restrict access to 10+ city blocks, thereby compounding existing traffic issues and B) You actually...
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Photographic Memory
I am convinced. There is a gang in and around the Union Square Greenmarket. It’s not a typical “gang,” however. They aren’t selling drugs or poppin’ caps or doing anything of the sort. No, this “gang” is a group of men who go around preying on women that they clearly do not find attractive. I have yet to decide why they do this, but I’m going to...
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Definition: Romantic Friend
Word: Romantic Friend, noun, rom-an-tic-friend
Definition: A man who essentially treats you like his girlfriend, but gets very little upside from this. He takes you on dates, pays you compliments, and cuddles with you - all while you still get to flirt with (et cetera) other men. You also use him as a hook-up buddy, but purely on your terms.
Gee, doesn’t this sound nice?
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It is Not OK, Cupid
Fairly recently, I was finally convinced by a friend to create an online dating profile. Not only is that really the thing to do here in New York where people won’t even make eye contact with you, let alone ask you on a date, but it’s also something that several of my friends/sorority sisters who live all around the country are doing (one even found an actual boyfriend!). See, we all...
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Silly Ad Execs
GODDAMN I WANT TO GO BUY SOME FUCKING BUD HEAVY NOW!
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Better Than Porn
After discovering this website, I may not ever leave my computer again. Holy sweet baby Jesus. I don’t typically even find some of these men attractive, but then they put on these insanely tailored suits with beautiful pick stitching and such and I am like, “Oh my god, I would do you right now.” For example (although I always think this one is sexy as hell):
Mmmmm….
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Being Independent is Not Fun
Even though I haven’t lived at home since I was in high school, I also haven’t ever really been “independent.” I lived in dorms, sorority houses, off campus shitholes. Other people paid my rent and my bills. There were always people to call when things broke. When I moved to New York, however, this all changed. At first, being an independent woman was fun and exciting....
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Fun Times at the Doctor
Let’s face it - being a girl and getting your annual check up is not fun. The day that someone told me I only needed to go once every two years was a good one. Unfortunately, that day finally rolled around this past week. I was going to put it off, but because I have zero interest in getting preggers and wanted that BC scrip (that is, if I ever hook up again), I did the responsible thing...
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Delicious.
Have you ever had an egg cream? I don’t think I’ve ever had a really authentic one, but I’ve had something that I think was an egg cream. Anyway, they are delicious, and this soda tastes like one. And, it’s zero calories.
Seriously, where has this been all my life? Christmas done come early.
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Vocabulary Lesson
Dating in New York is kind of difficult. There are a lot of clowns, egomaniacs, Patrick Bateman wannabes, guys who “have a start-up company.” At this point, I’m kind of over it. So, this past weekend, a friend convinced me to go out with someone who is completely not my type in an attempt to “broaden my horizons” or some ridiculous crap like that. I probably took...
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Don't Act Like This Girl
I’ve seen two movies in the past two weeks, and at both, I was treated to a preview for the new Footloose move. There are so many things about this preview that are terrible.
A male bonding/car fixer-upper scene
Unrealistic dance throwdowns
Julianna Hough continuing to pretend that she can act (Burlesque should have proved that one wrong for all of us, especially her)
Lines like...
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Fratty Hipsters
At some point during my college days, Wayfarers had a triumphant return. I blame Lindsay Lohan. Literally, you could not look anywhere without seeing them. For a while, I was OK with this - Grace Kelly and Ferris Bueller had both rocked them and looked pretty good while doing so. However, when people started bastardizing these classics, I decided it was high time to stow mine away. The worst...
