December 2011
20 posts
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Definition: Strategic Reallocation
Word: Strategic Reallocation, noun, stra-te-gic re-al-lo-ca-tion
Definition: Rather than breaking up with one’s significant other, he or she would initiate a “strategic reallocation” under which he or she would redirect his or her (former) significant other’s time and attention in the most optimal way / toward the most suitable people.
“Hey girl, let’s not...
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Movember
“Movember,” as many of you know, stands for “Mustache November” - but why it’s spelled this way I’ll never understand. Mustache starts with an “Mu-,” so shouldn’t it be “Muvember”? See, for a long time, I heard “Movember” and thought it would be spelled “Mo’ Vember,” like some sweet, ghetto way of...
November 2011
7 posts
4 tags
Dynamic Character
Today, I was told that I’m a “dynamic character.” I must have stared at the commentator for a bit too long, so of course, he felt compelled to explain to me what that term means and how it applies to me. Essentially, others perceive me as someone who is constantly evolving and adapting to the situations at hand, the people who surround me, etc. Though he presented this quality...
Luck be a Lady
I have a curse. Others might not view it as such, but for me, it’s a damn terrible curse. See, after a guy and I break up, the next girl to come into his life ends up being “the one” (whatever the hell that means) - literally, 100% of the time. Every single one of my ex-boyfriends is on the marriage track with the first girl they got into a relationship with after breaking up...
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“Unless you love someone, nothing else makes sense.”
– E.E. Cummings
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Definition: Sacred Prostitute
Word: Sacred Prostitute, noun, sa-cred pros-ti-tute
Definition: A Goddess who, as a profession, gives sexual blessings to her male clients to bring them closer to God and to help them evolve toward spiritual enlightenment. For purposes of this definition, the term “Goddess” shall refer to a woman who is blossoming in many qualities of spiritual enlightenment AND is intensely...
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October 2011
18 posts
3 tags
"Love"
In August 1996, just shy of my eighth birthday, I wrote the following poem:
Love is when you find someone who will care about you
Love is when you find someone who can be a friend
Love is when you find someone to comfort you
Love is when you know that someone loves you
And love can also not be described because love is one of the best things on Earth
It’s funny how we seem to...
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And Now For Something Completely Different
I’m not typically one for posting random pictures without some sort of commentary attached, but this is possibly the most gorgeous map of the city I’ve ever seen. Beautiful and incredibly helpful for visitors and newcomers alike. Therefore, I had to share.
(Graphic courtesy of Alexander Cheek, accessed from Big Think)
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"I must, I must, I must increase my bust!"
Though I never read any Judy Blume books in my youth, it is nearly impossible to be a young woman in the U.S. and not be familiar with this iconic quote from Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. As a very small-busted woman, there have been times throughout my life where I wanted nothing more than to have the body of a lingerie model. With their larger-than-life bosoms in every mall...
Conversations I Will Never Have
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
GIRL and BOY lay in bed after one night stand
BOY: So, do you have a good do-rag I can use to sleep in?
GIRL: No, but you can wear my bonnet instead.
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Barbie Gone Wild
When I was a child, I had upwards of 100 Barbies. It was a problem awesome, though probably not so awesome for my poor parents given that:
A) Barbies are not cheap. Nor are their miniature outfits, accessories, homes, cars, boyfriends, pets, etc.
B) Each and every Barbie comes with its own miniature hairbrush. And high heels. Thus, the floor in my house was littered with these tiny, sharp...
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The Ties That Bind: Waffle House
To the sophisticates that read this blog, you might as well stop now. I’m willing to bet that you’ve never been to Waffle House and thus won’t be able to relate to what is written herein. However, if you think you might appreciate it or be inspired to try a little slice of heaven that I like to call “scattered all the way,” then read on.
Waffle House is one of...
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