Dating in New York is kind of difficult. There are a lot of clowns, egomaniacs, Patrick Bateman wannabes, guys who “have a start-up company.” At this point, I’m kind of over it. So, this past weekend, a friend convinced me to go out with someone who is completely not my type in an attempt to “broaden my horizons” or some ridiculous crap like that. I probably took his advice a little far when I agreed to drinks with a guy covered in tattoos who has no college degree and cuts glass for a living. I’ll admit, this guy was genuinely nice and I didn’t have an awful time, but I officially knew that things just weren’t going to work out when this conversation transpired (pretty much verbatim):
Tat Boy: You know, you have a really amazing vocabulary.
Me: (Thinking he’s making fun of me) Haha, thanks.
Tat Boy: No really, I mean, “plethora,” “juxtaposition”? That’s impressive
So, okay, maybe I’m an asshole because I somehow managed to work those words into casual conversation - but still, if they qualify as having an “amazing vocabulary,” you have probably just indicated to me that you’re not quite smart enough for me. I liked your Alien vs. Predator tattoo though…no actually I didn’t. Who spends money on that?