Thank you Mayor Bloomberg for continuing to say exactly what you think about anything and everything (especially because your opinions often align with mine). Street fairs are the most terrible, awful fucking things ever. Brooklyn Flea, Hester Street Fair - you guys are great. A) You don’t restrict access to 10+ city blocks, thereby compounding existing traffic issues and B) You actually have vendors with cool, unique products, delicious gourmet foods, etc. These goddamn street fairs are so incredibly awful though. Who ever thought it was a good idea to have 3 falafel stands per block for 10 blocks? Why are we allowing people to sell questionably “unused” pairs of socks - 10 pairs for $10? Why is someone forcing stale popcorn covered in cheese dust into my hand? Jesus, all I want to do is walk home from work on a Sunday afternoon in peace - navigating through a crowd full of overweight people, small children, and Asian ladies flinging beaded necklaces in my face is not enjoyable. I mean, these street fairs pretty much cost the city money. In 2007, 357 fairs only earned the city $1.6 million, which is not net of the costs that the city incurs to do things like provide police for street fairs.
Today, however, I had a pretty epic street fair experience. First, I was approached by a man with a stack of hardcover books who asked me if I would like a free book about Kabbalah. After I hesitated for a moment, he said, “I have one for women.” OK, sure, I’ll take that. He handed it to me and I walked away, at which point I realized it’s called “God Wears Lipstick.” Of course, my first thought was - oh, so God is a drag queen?
Then, I came across a Native American man walking around with a cross preaching about who-knows-what while wearing the most amazing outfit ever. He also had the most fantastic hair I’ve ever seen up close and in person. It was a mullet/braid/ponytail extravaganza.
Thank you for making today’s street messapalooza bearable, sir.